When the Cardboard Guys Shoot Back: A Twist on IDPA with Amelia

If you don't already know what IDPA (International Defensive Pistol Association) is, here's the brief... You go into a course that simulates a self-defense scenario. In the course, you'll find cardboard figures. Some are threats and some are not. Shoot the threats, not the non-threats, and you get a better score. Don't shoot anybody, and/or shoot the non-threats, and you get a worse score. Simple enough...  Well, our friends at the GA Firing Line have come up with a fun twist on the competition. What if -- as in a real self-defense scenario -- the threats actually shot back at you? (In this case, everyone was using Airsoft guns, not the real deal. No actual dead bodies allowed on the range.)

Last night, in the first round of (I hope) a whole series of these force-on-force courses, the good folks at the range set up two stages: one fairly straight-forward and "winnable", the other not so much. We'll get to that in just a moment...

So, let's set the stage. Some of the guys and gals at the range dressed up in padding, protective masks, and cardboard targets. They all had weapons (one particular AR-15 airsoft replica put a lot of welts on a lot of competitors, myself included), but some of them would only hold their hands up -- non-threats -- while others would start shooting at you the minute they saw you...

See those guys in the box-robot costumes? Those targets aren't usually so...mobile. Or...armed.

Here's the part where we get to the not-so-winnable stage. In one section of the range, the staff had set up a "house", a maze of plastic from floor to ceiling. The point of this was to show us -- the competitors -- what a bad idea it is to clear a building alone. I had thirty seconds to clear the maze, with at least one threat and a few non-threats around every turn, and only 20 "bullets" (airsoft pellets).

I went into the course, heart rate elevated, nervous, running. I shot at everything that moved, yelling, "Oops! Sorry!...Sorry! Crap!...Sorry!" when I hit the non-threats. I ran out of ammo at the last room and didn't quite clear the building. Actually, only two people who attempted the course cleared, and one was a police officer (his friends kept calling him "Officer Homicide". He was a really sweet guy). That said, everyone -- even the two guys who cleared -- got shot. No one made it out of that house alive. Don't go in alone, y'all.

Just before my buddy in the mask got "stabbed" in the back by the next threat. Dude was sneaky.

The other stage was a bit more straightforward. You had three targets approaching you on one side of a wall. You had to clear that side, then use a Bianchi* barricade for cover to clear the two targets on the other side. When my turn came to attempt this stage, one of my three targets on the first side of the wall was missing. The guys running the course decided not to waste time, saying, "Okay, we're down a non-threat. Just go." Hearing this, I thought, "Okay, both these people are going to be threats. Cool. Shoot 'em and move on." So that's exactly what I did...

When in doubt...Take 'em ALL out!

And then the hilarity... First, I had apparently done a terrible job of clipping my holster to my shorts (don't wear shorts, btw. I got off lucky on this one, but those pellets leave some serious welts, even through clothing). As my score keeper yelled, "THREAT!" I pulled my gun... And my holster came with it. It took me less than a second to figure out what I'd done. I grabbed the holster off the muzzle of my gun, threw it, and fired...

After clearing (yay!) the stage, the two people on the first wall got up, laughing. One of them said, "Alright! the Russian method! Just kill 'em all, right?" I was confused. "Wait, weren't we down a non-threat? So you two were threats?"

He continued laughing, "Nope! We didn't draw on you."

Oops, but nobody was mad, so I just shrugged and took the time penalty, laughing with them. So what did I take away from all of this, besides a big ole grin on my happy lil Scribe face? Let's recap...

Lessons learned:

1. Seriously, don't go trying to clear a building by yourself. You will get shot. I took one in my shooting hand (ouch!), right arm, two in my left shoulder, and...one between the eyes. That doesn't hurt when you're wearing a mask, and the bullet is a plastic pellet, but in a real scenario, I was dead. (At least it was a quick death).

What? It's not even my trigger finger. NBD.

2. If you find yourself on the other end of my weapon in a hostile situation, and you're not a threat...Duck, yell, wave your hands in the air, run, and/or don't be there. I learned last night that I will shoot innocent bystanders. Sorry. Russian Method.

3. Don't wear shorts to one of these events. I'm not the only one who learned this lesson, and I got off easier than the other guy who showed up showing some leg. Which brings me to...

4. If you're in a course like this, and you accidentally shoot your new favorite gunsmith in an unprotected leg instead of on the target area, you should really hope he's as sweet a guy as Andy. Sorry about that again, man!


*I learned that Bianchis aren't just pretty Italian bicycles! The more ya know!