Our Editor Wants to be an Action Hero

This is the first column in a series that ESP is doing in collaboration with House of Tactical's Feminine FirePower(tm) brand. We'll be following our editor-in-chief as she maneuvers through competing in defensive pistol matches and maybe even shooting some big guns, too. Check it...

Let’s start this thing off right, shall we? I’m Amelia. I’m a writer and editor. I deal in fiction, ad copy, and hilarious tweets and Facebook posts. I’m also a pretty big fan of the right to keep and arm bears… I mean, wait, crap… Anyway, I like guns and amendments and stuff, but I’m actually a very new shooter.

...which should be pretty obvious by this grip. This has been fixed. Don't hold your gun like this, y'all.

Some of you know me, and you know my stories about being around guns my whole life. By the time I was six years-old, I already had two favorites in my dad’s collection. His .45 Long Colt revolver made me think my dad was secretly some not-so-distant relation of Clint Eastwood. And the AR-7 rifle magically packed into its own stock. Once I figured out how to make it do that trick, I could occupy myself for hours, or until Dad made me give him his gun back and put it away.

So yes, I grew up with guns, but y’know what? I didn’t shoot one until I was 13, and that wasn’t even one of Dad’s. It was a little .20-gauge shot gun, at camp, where I learned that I was really good at winging clay pigeons but couldn’t ever seem to hit one dead-on. After that day, it would be another 13 years before I fired another round. When I was 26, I finally took my 1911 (which Dad had gifted me at 21) out to the range with a friend of mine. I was really proud of hitting paper that day. The fact that I was able to hit the head and chest a lot made me think I was a natural at this nonsense. Oh how little did I know…

In the last five years, I’ve gone shooting six times. Four of those were in the last four weeks. That’s right, ladies and gents, for all the time I’ve spent around firearms, I’m still very much what you’d call a beginner. So what changed? Well, opportunity and desire overcame excuses and fears. Four months ago, I watched my first of many weekly GADPA matches at GA Firing Line. Four weeks ago, I finally got the cajones up, and I started competing (I’m using that term very loosely).

So, what have I learned in my first month of pistol matches? What bits of knowledge can I impart to you if you’re thinking about getting into it?

   1.   Be safe, y’all. Seriously. My first week, my score was over 355. The next guy was 170. And, if you’re wondering, the scoring on this sport is a lot more like golf than bowling. So yeah, that’s bad. However, there were at least two people who disqualified that week. One of the safety officers came up to me after the match and thanked me for taking my time and not putting anyone in danger. Remember, you’re shooting live ammo, and there are a lot of people standing behind you. Don’t point your gun at them, or yourself... I make a lot of jokes about “safety third”, but seriously. If you can get through your first match without disqualifying for a safety blunder, you’re ahead of the game.

   2.   Choose your competition weapon wisely. I can only half-blame my 1911’s jamming issue during my first match on how dirty it was. Dating the range’s gunsmith has its perks, but even after a mid-match VIP gun-cleaning, I was still having jamming issues. Why? It’s a hand cannon, and I need to work on my grip… I’ve been shooting a Smith & Wesson M&P 9mm in the weeks since and working on tightening my grip. The difference is pretty amazing.

   3.   I spent the entirety of my second match trying not to cry because I was embarrassed that my gun kept jamming, and I wasn’t quick enough at clearing it. My time and score were even worse than my first week. I felt like everyone was looking at me. The voice in the back of my head sounded just like Carrie’s mom.

No one's going to laugh at you, I promise.

      I did a lot of breathing exercises and staring at the ground when I was reloading that night. Then, at the end of the match, I did about 30 seconds of crying into my boyfriend’s chest before washing my face, squaring my jaw, and heading over to get Mexican food with everyone… Where I was regaled with a whole lot of funny stories about times when everyone else’s magazines hadn’t loaded properly and every other round jammed. By the end of the night, I could shrug, laugh, and say, “Well, tonight I learned to clear a jam like a pro.”

   4.   Breathe. Seriously. In and out. It’s gonna be okay. Your heart’s gonna pound a lot at first, but nobody’s judging you. Hell, they’ve all been where you are now, and they all know you’re holding a loaded gun; what are they gonna say?

   5.   Dry-fire drills are your friends. Practicing reloading is hugely helpful, too. What you do or don’t do between matches is what’s going to make you better at this. I happen to have a pretty great coach, too. I recommend getting one of those. 

      And that’s a rough summation of what a month of IDPA matches has taught me. Now it’s time for this chiclet to holster up and do some dry-fire and reload drills. I practice what I preach. Keep in mind, this can actually be a lot of fun if you let it. Getting better at defending yourself with a pistol makes watching sci-fi action movies a lot more fun for me. I mean, really, I only workout because I'd rather be one of the kickass crew that survives to the end of the movie and not one of those lame jerks who dies in the second act and makes the audience cry. If we're keeping score, getting handy with my firearms only ups my chances, right?

Her grip is both low and terrible, but I still wanna be Starbuck when I grow up.