Spelly Goes to the Movies: KICKASS 2

Last night, I took a trip down the street on my little red wonder bike, to see the premier of the much-anticipated KICKASS 2… 

I was pretty stoked about it, though I admittedly haven’t read Mark Millar's graphic novels yet (I know, I know. Bad geek girl! What can I say? I’ve been working). I was even a little bit nervous that I was only five minutes early when I got to the box office. Was I too late to get a ticket?... Nope. No problem. Then I got into the theater...

Now, Thursday nights aren’t exactly hoppin’ in theaters in Atlanta, but I kind of expected SOME turn out for opening night…

I rubbed my butt in every one of those seats.

Instead, I got the whole place to myself. So I sat my butt down, took a sip of my Diet Coke, and waited on the previews…

And, surprise number two of the night...There were no previews! The lights dimmed. The “Buy some snacks and get off your phones!” video played, and we went straight into the flick. Among the many joys of going to one of the few independent movie theaters left in the world, skipping the commercials and going straight into the main course is one.

Okay, before I get into this, go watch the film. Seriously. I was gonna try to avoid spoilers, but… No. Go watch the film. I know I did this to you with PACIFIC RIM, but, well, this ain’t GI JOE.

I will tell you this. This film doesn’t pull punches. It's bigger, bloodier, and all around more...well...Kickass than the original. Prepare to see characters you care about get their asses handed to them. Prepare to see them die. No one is safe. Oh, and it’s got a lot of Girl Punch. If you’re a geek girl with a good relationship with your dad, you may find yourself tearing up at a few points. I'm not too proud to admit, I did.

Okay, so now that I’ve gotten through that, go watch the film, come back, and we’ll talk. SPOILERS AHEAD!! You have been warned.

The film opens with Mindy (Chloe Grace Moretz) and Dave (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) in a deserted lot, detritus and piles of dirt and rocks all around them. Mindy pulls a pistol from her pink backpack. Dave freaks. She tells him he doesn’t have to do it… and shoots him… It’s like Lucy and Charlie Brown with the football, except, when Dave realizes he’s still alive, he gets this huge rush and laughs his ass off… Then she pulls out the hand cannon. Dave freaks. She promises not to shoot him in the chest again… I’ll let you guess what happens when he turns his back. 

I giggled.

The thing I loved most about KA2 has to be the credence given to Mindy/Hit Girl. She’s the Baddest Bitch. She trains Dave/Kickass, preparing him for the losses she’s already experienced, for his real fights.

And Mindy's not the only bad bitch around. Chris D'Amico (Christopher Mintz-Plasse) -- having accidentally killed his mom in a tanning bed accident -- finds himself rich and emancipated. He's free to become the world's first real supervillain: The Motherfucker. No, I'm not calling Chris a bitch (though that's debatable. He's definitely not a bad bitch. We can all agree on that). After getting his ass kicked pretty soundly, he decides, "My super power is I'm rich as fuck!" and goes about hiring an army, giving them all incredibly racist names, to his body guard Javier's (John Leguizamo) chagrine. Among these is Mother Russia (Olga Kurkulina), the unstoppable, unbreakable, 'roided up ex-KGB agent. She makes more than any of the other henchmen. They start to complain, but then she kills ten police officers without blinking an eye. She tears the door off a cruiser, and she kills two of the cops with a lawnmower. And what do her co-henchmen have to say? "She's worth it!"

The film even deftly, and amusingly, sidesteps the super creepy rape scene in Millar's original. Throughout the film -- from the MEAN GIRLS-esque thread when Mindy tries to be a normal teen; to avoiding Night Bitch's rape; to Mother Russia's psychotic cop-killing spree -- KICKASS 2 was all about the ladies. While Dave/Kickass and his buddies are trying to figure out how to be superheroes, Mindy/Hit Girl is trying to figure out how to be "normal." She's the only "real" superhero, and Dave reminds her of it over and over again.

The film relishes in exploring classic superhero comic tropes. Good guys don't hurt or kill people. Bad guys don't have empathy... Col. Stars and Stripes (Jim Carrey) carries an unloaded gun. D'Amico (insisting, "I'm not Chris! I'm the Motherfucker!") has Mother Russia brutally kill the Colonel, but when she asks about the Colonel's dog, he says, "I'm not THAT evil!"

Throughout, the Good Guys do what Good Guys do. The Bad Guys do what Bad Guys do. Everyone plays by the rules of their chosen sides...everyone but Hit Girl. She ditches school. She doesn't hesitate to kill. In the end, she has to leave because -- though she's the baddest of the badasses -- she doesn't fit. She tells Dave, as she's leaving, "You don't have to be a badass to be a superhero; you just have to be brave." Self-discovery, loss, and courage are all pretty huge themes in the film, but don't worry. None of that diminishes the ultraviolence, the lunchroom puke session, or the all-around FUN. It's a ride.

My only issue with the film, really, was the treatment (or lack thereof) of Todd/Ass-Kicker's (Augustus Prew) betrayal. In the end, he was on the right side of the Big Fight, but he told D'Amico about Dave's dad. What happens when Dave finds out Todd sold him out? If Todd hadn't said anything, Dave's dad would still be alive. That's a pretty big deal. Something for the third film? Or are they just gonna leave Todd as a stupidly sweet accidental turncoat and leave it?

And that's it. We could talk more -- about Justice Forever, about the lunchroom puke scene, about loyalty and love -- but those are my big impressions. If I missed something, let's talk about it in the comments!

And, seriously, among all the ass-kicking, awkwardness, belly-laughs, and general hilarity, I only had one plot point problem. Not too bad...

Can we be BFFs and go kick all of the asses together? Please?

And we should always remember what Mindy told Dave when she was training him, "Act like a bitch, get slapped like a bitch." Words to live by.