Scribe Reviews: RIDDICK [spoilers, spoilers, and more spoilers]

“There are bad days, and then there are legendary bad days. Today was shaping up into one of those.”

Yep.

The third installment in the RIDDICK franchise (let’s face it; this isn’t a trilogy)

opens on a pretty familiar scene: A sun-scorched planet, a beat-to-hell Richard B. Riddick (Vin Diesel, as if I needed to tell you), and instant death under every rock in the desert.

When the Cardboard Guys Shoot Back: A Twist on IDPA with Amelia

If you don't already know what IDPA (International Defensive Pistol Association) is, here's the brief... You go into a course that simulates a self-defense scenario. In the course, you'll find cardboard figures. Some are threats and some are not. Shoot the threats, not the non-threats, and you get a better score. Don't shoot anybody, and/or shoot the non-threats, and you get a worse score. Simple enough...  Well, our friends at the GA Firing Line have come up with a fun twist on the competition. What if -- as in a real self-defense scenario -- the threats actually shot back at you? (In this case, everyone was using Airsoft guns, not the real deal. No actual dead bodies allowed on the range.)

Last night, in the first round of (I hope) a whole series of these force-on-force courses, the good folks at the range set up two stages: one fairly straight-forward and "winnable", the other not so much. We'll get to that in just a moment...

So, let's set the stage. Some of the guys and gals at the range dressed up in padding, protective masks, and cardboard targets. They all had weapons (one particular AR-15 airsoft replica put a lot of welts on a lot of competitors, myself included), but some of them would only hold their hands up -- non-threats -- while others would start shooting at you the minute they saw you...

See those guys in the box-robot costumes? Those targets aren't usually so...mobile. Or...armed.

Spelly Goes to the Movies: THE WORLD'S END

Would you keep drinking to the end of the world?

Well, would you? Do you have what it takes, kid?

The final film in Edgar Wright's end-of-the-world trilogy, THE WORLD'S END pulls together so much of SHAUN OF THE DEAD and HOT FUZZ; it’s not even funny… Wait, no. What’s the opposite of that? Oh yes, it’s REALLY funny.

How do I put this without spoilers? Well, let’s see…

Simon Pegg plays Gary King, the former leader of a youthful crew of punkass rebels who, 20 years ago, attempted a 12-tavern pub crawl. To hear him tell the tale, it was the best night of all their lives. Half true. It was the best night of Gary The King’s life. The first we see of Gary, he’s telling the epic tale…in a meeting in rehab.

Cut to Gary convincing his four former compatriots – Oliver (Martin Freeman), Steven (Paddy Considine), Peter (Eddie Marsan), and Andy (Nick Frost) -- to go for it one more time, to go hometo Newton Haven, to make it happen. As he makes the rounds, though, we find they’ve all grown up. They all have jobs, wives, maybe ex-wives…

Through his schmoozing and truth manipulation, as you might have guessed, Gary convinces all four of them to meet him to re-attempt The Golden Mile – making it to The World’s End pub…. They meet at 3:00 sharp at the station, and, of course, Gary is almost an hour late, but he has an excuse. Because Gary’s never wrong.

That’s about as far as I can go with the plot without spoilers, so I’ll say this before the break (where you will most definitely get some SPOILERS AHEAD), but I will say this before then… It was a real pleasure to see Simon Pegg play the delusional, gung ho (misled) dreamer and to watch Nick Frost as the unwilling badass. This really is Frost’s moment to shine.

Now, on to the SPOILERS…

Spelly Goes to the Movies: KICKASS 2

Last night, I took a trip down the street on my little red wonder bike, to see the premier of the much-anticipated KICKASS 2… 

I was pretty stoked about it, though I admittedly haven’t read Mark Millar's graphic novels yet (I know, I know. Bad geek girl! What can I say? I’ve been working). I was even a little bit nervous that I was only five minutes early when I got to the box office. Was I too late to get a ticket?... Nope. No problem. Then I got into the theater...

Now, Thursday nights aren’t exactly hoppin’ in theaters in Atlanta, but I kind of expected SOME turn out for opening night…

I rubbed my butt in every one of those seats.

Instead, I got the whole place to myself. So I sat my butt down, took a sip of my Diet Coke, and waited on the previews…

And, surprise number two of the night...There were no previews! The lights dimmed. The “Buy some snacks and get off your phones!” video played, and we went straight into the flick. Among the many joys of going to one of the few independent movie theaters left in the world, skipping the commercials and going straight into the main course is one.

Okay, before I get into this, go watch the film. Seriously. I was gonna try to avoid spoilers, but… No. Go watch the film. I know I did this to you with PACIFIC RIM, but, well, this ain’t GI JOE.

I will tell you this. This film doesn’t pull punches. It's bigger, bloodier, and all around more...well...Kickass than the original. Prepare to see characters you care about get their asses handed to them. Prepare to see them die. No one is safe. Oh, and it’s got a lot of Girl Punch. If you’re a geek girl with a good relationship with your dad, you may find yourself tearing up at a few points. I'm not too proud to admit, I did.

Okay, so now that I’ve gotten through that, go watch the film, come back, and we’ll talk. SPOILERS AHEAD!! You have been warned.

Fresh Off the (Digital) Presses!

For less than the price of a Big Mac, ESP's done it again! Spelly's short story "Any Company" is available now for $0.99 in the Amazon Kindle store. Grab a copy now. Let us know what you think!

Spelly's Official Post-DEFCON Post! (told mostly in pictures because awesome)

So that whole liveblog idea got kinda, well, messy. I guess there are reasons people liveblog political debates and not raging four-day parties in Las Vegas... Oops. Lesson: learned.

ANYway, I can't tell you everything that Tasky or Cloudy did for most of their DEFCON21 experience, but I can catch you up on all the trouble I got into. Shall we begin? I think we shall...

That's one big ole sticker, I tell ya...

DEFCON21 (semi)Live Blog

(Warning! This is all Spelly's work, and she's kinda busy drinking, networking, and getting lost in Vegas. She'll try to keep this post as updated as possible. For up to the minute pics, check our Facebook and Twitter. But here goes...

Oh, and DISCLAIMER: I don't promise any of it'll be pretty till I get off my tablet and onto my laptop, but that's about half the fun, now isn't it?)


DEFCON21 Liveblog

Cloudy Scribe Went All Delphi On Us

Not too long ago in the greater scheme of things, we wrote a little story for DefCon21. You can find it here.

[TL;DR -- Set in 2034,"In Too Deep" follows Georgia Tech student Anthony Frederickson (who'd really rather you call him 3-d33p) on an ill-fated trip to DefCon42, the world's most (in)famous hacker convention... No spoilers, but a few months before heading out to Las Vegas, Anthony discovers that his nifty new blazer not only changes colors and images in time with music and its environment, but it can also activate an 0day hack, just by being in the room with a camera...]

All three of us worked on "In Too Deep," but -- as with so many of our stories -- this really is Cloudy's baby. And it's a pretty cool idea, right? He comes up with a lot of those, and we do a lot to turn them into stories y'all wanna read... Well, it turns out Cloudy's not just prolific, he's prescient, too! Check out this article about a (now-fixed) flaw in Google Glass. When Tasky saw it, he said, "Wow, dude. You're like the Oracle of Delphi... Except, not sexy." Haters gonna hate.

But, seriously, y'all. Check this out:

Google glass' camera scans all photos it takes for QR codes so that it can make Wi-Fi and Bluetooth connections to a phone for internet access. So...

"Whenever the Glass software detects a QR code, it decodes it to see if it names a Wi-Fi network to connect to. It will do this even if the code does not occupy the whole of the frame - so a hacker could get a Glass owner to hack their own device just by standing near a printout of special QR code.

'We created a QR code that told Glass to connect to a Wi-Fi network of my choosing and started sending data to that,' Marc Rogers, principal security analyst at Lookout, told the Guardian. 'We could become the middleman, and if we needed to strip out the encryption on the connection. Then we could see the pictures or video that it's uploading. We could also direct it to a site on the web which exploits a known vulnerability in Android 4.0.4' - used by Glass - 'which hacked Glass at it browsed the page.'"

Sound familiar? Sound like something a particular Scribe might have come up with? Let's get down to brass tacks:

"Both the vulnerablity, and the way it was delivered, are unique to Glass - a consequence of it being connected," Rogers said. "I don't think anyone's hacked a device with an image before."

At least no one had done it in real life. Just another reason you might wanna keep an eye on us. ESP: Fiction or Premonition?

Spelly Goes to the Movies: PACIFIC RIM

In a recent interview with Vanity Fair, Guillermo Del Toro said,

"If you see my movies, I celebrate imperfection. I celebrate us being incomplete. I celebrate the fact that if we want to be complete, we need each other. In every movie I make, that is the prevalent message; the message that fragility is good, imperfection is good. And I think that you learn very little from perfection in life, and you learn so much from imperfection. And monsters are the patron saints of imperfection."

Thirty seconds after watching Pacific Rim, Spelly Scribe* said (out loud, to no one in particular), "That was EXACTLY what I needed it to be. Perfect!"

If you haven't seen it yet, go. You owe it to yourself. Del Toro considers this film his baby. In the same Vanity Fair interview, he says it's a very young film. At 48, he wrote it for himself at 12 years old. He wrote it for young boys and girls, to give them role models who do great things together. That theme of incompletion and imperfection? It’s everywhere, and it’s absolutely beautiful.

Rollin' Out that Fiction!

A dead body blocks entrance or exit to an apartment building. Sailors eat bruised apples and smoke cigarettes as their ship sinks. A young man tries to hitchhike to see his dying father. A young girl finds that she needs to cut something off any time she gets stuck.

What do they have in common? In this collection of short vignettes, Electric Sheep Press' Amelia Shackelford (Spelly Scribe) explores a variety of troublesome situations, how to get out of them, and what happens when you just can't.


Exit Wounds is available on Amazon Kindle for just $0.99. Something to hold you over till we release the next chapters of oSWAT and Fighting Fire! Check it out. Let us know what you think!

Fighting Fire: Fuel is free for the next two days

http://amzn.to/11YkLtb

Days after moving from Texas to California, fifteen year-old Alex Parker's family is killed in a botched police raid. Days later, officers involved with the raid start dying in freak accidents. Alex was kicked out of three different schools in Texas for alleged hacking. Could she be behind the killings?
FUEL, the first installment of FIGHTING FIRE sets the stage.

Good people make bad decisions, and we all know what paves the road to hell.

Defcon Short Story Contest

We entererd the Defcon Short Story Contest. Our story is called In too Deep and can be found here. If you like it vote for us in the peoples choice poll!

Thanks!

TopFic: 3D Printers is out!

TopFic:3D printers is a short read about the fictional issue of using 3D printers to make weapons! It is available on Amazon now as a Kindle download.

TopFic: 3D Printers

#3 - Remedies for the Supernaturally Afflicted: Evicting the Blob and Dating a Succubus

We have a very special edition of “Remedies for the Supernaturally Afflicted” for you today! While we only have two questions for you, we feel that they’ll more than suffice. Both questions hail from our own favorite city of Atlanta, Georgia (whatcanwedoforya?), and both have, let’s just say, some... legal ambiguities...

1. I have a big problem. And i mean BIG. My house has been taken over by what i can only describe as a "The Blob." 

So, I just moved into my first house, everything was going great until i got all moved in and finally got a chance to use the shower. I saw something work its way out of the drain, then it popped the screen and a reddish, gooey tentacle came out and made straight for my foot. 

So I make it out of the shower and the thing* kind of went back in the drain.  I went underneath the house and he was all up in the crawl space, I barely made it out of there too.  i found out later that before i bought the place, nobody was in there for over a year. So, i'm thinking he's just like a squatter, except he's a The Blob, so then i call the cops. 

Well, the cops tell me they really can't do anything if he's not being violent at the moment -it's not like they can taser the dude and drag him out in cuffs - so he's got to be legally evicted. First, i'm thinking: why are they treating him like a regular squatter, right? So the next day i call my agent, which leads to the lawyer telling me to go downtown and get everything documented…and it turns out that in the time the house was empty, The Blob moved in and he paid the fucking property tax for 2012! there's a check for $1,900 signed "The Blob" in county fucking records!

So I'm begging you guys, please help me. there's no way this guy gets "squatters rights" and there's no way i'm giving up my house, but I'm not staying there for fear that he absorbs me at night or something.

Sincerely,

Sleepless in Atlanta

"Come at me, Bro!"

Another Taste...

A little while ago, we gave you a taste of things to come, the first chapter in ESP's flagship novel oSWAT... We threw a lot at you in just a few pages' worth of material... With scenarios like a baffling brush war in South America and a monstrous killing machine, powered by the mind of a child, you probably came away with more questions than answers.

But have no fear! You're gonna come away from the next chapter with even more questions! And whaddaya know? The second taste's free, too. We are some seriously benevolent pushers.

2. SPIN, RITA, SPIN

Ten years later...

“Are you ready for them, Ms. Arrington?” he asks me, a wry smile creeping up the right side of his face.

“Mr. Bennett-Dyson, after that speech, I feel like you’ve handed me the Keys to Press City,” I laugh. The CEO of The Shining Corporation is a tall man with thick gray hair, a winning smile, and a smooth tongue. At least, that’s how he’s always appeared to me in our SoReal meetings. I assume reality is pretty close to projection. You don’t get to be the head of the world’s largest, most profitable corporation hiding behind a mask  and blundering over words.

“I should hope so!” He pats me on the shoulder and joins his security detail. He could just fade out, as most people do when leaving a SoReal session, but Asher Bennett-Dyson prefers to make an exit. I think “fading out” in any sense of the phrase is probably against his religion.

More coming soon! Chapter 1 is already available on Amazon at oSWAT: The Games Children Play

#2 - Remedies for the Supernaturally Afflicted: The Superhero Edition

We’ve noticed a trend in the questions coming across our supernatural law expert’s desk in the past few weeks. We’ve seen a great decline in issues with zombies, virtually no vampires or werewolves. We did get one very interesting question about the Blob, but we’ve gotten so many questions concerning issues with superheroes that we’ve decided to dedicate an entire issue of Remedies for the Supernaturally Afflicted to these issues. Maybe it has something to do with the impending release of Iron Man 3. Maybe it’s all a coincidence. We may never know, but what we do know is demand. And we’re more than happy to supply...

1. A superhero in a gold and red suit (I can’t say for sure, but I think it was [NAME REDACTED]) got into a fight with a self-proclaimed super villain. The “hero” threw my car at the “villain.” While that stopped the fight, I am now stuck riding the bus to work…

On Foot in New York

It's this guy, isn't it? You may not have a case...

#1 - Remedies for the Supernaturally Afflicted

Editor’s Note: I think we’ve established that ESP is not your average publishing company. To show you just how different we are and how much we care, we’ve hired a group of expert attorneys to answer your supernatural legal questions. Are you worried about your daughter’s zombie boyfriend? Is your vampire secretary constantly late for work? Have you gone hunting and found out your prey was…not exactly what you thought you were shooting? Our advice column can help!

I have a question about my wife. She’s been a zombie for about 18 months now.  I have tried to remain a loving and devoted husband, but it’s becoming increasingly difficult. How do I put this delicately? A man has certain needs.  It has been 14 months since we shared the “intimate relations” that I had become accustomed to in our relationship. It isn’t that I want or need sex every day, but we haven’t done it in almost a year and a half!

To make matters worse, she doesn’t smell very good or change her clothes much, and she seems to have lost interest in being “hygienic.” And all she really wants to do is eat. But I still have needs (I still want to make love to my lady!). They aren’t being met, and I see no end to this. When I try to create an intimate atmosphere or flirt with her like we used to, she gets violent. She’s gone cold and barely talks to me beyond the occasional grunt or groan. I would like to save the marriage, but she won’t go to counseling (the one time I convinced her to go, she attacked the counselor). I don’t know what else to do. Can I file for divorce? I know I said ‘’Till death do us part’’ but we’re kind of there already right?

-Frustrated in Atlanta.

Meet the Scribes

Okay, so we’ve given you bits, and we’ve given you pieces. We’ve given you morsels, even.  You’ve read the first chapter of a pretty badass (if we do say so, ourselves) novel.  You’ve gotten a peek inside the mind of our editor on public transit and the apocalypse.  It’s about time, then, that we properly introduced ourselves.  We are the founders and keepers of ESP.  We are the Electric Sheep Scribes…

Sound off!

 

Tasky, Spelly, some jerk we drink with sometimes, and Cloudy. 

(Try keeping us in focus. We dare you.)

GI JOE: RETALIATION (The Scribes Go to the Movies)

Friday afternoon, Cloudy Scribe and I took a couple of hours off from World Domination to take in a bit of good old-fashioned American Cinema: GI Joe style. I mean, everybody needs some downtime, now and then...

In the 110 minutes we spent watching explosions, subpar dialogue, The Rock (I might’ve drooled a little there), and Adrianne Palicki’s cleavage (Cloudy definitely drooled. A lot), we found more than a few flaws with the Real American Hero sequel... Most of which didn't really bother us. Hell, most of them made the whole experience better. Here are just a few examples…

There's a hint here about our real problem with the movie, but read on...

[SPOILER ALERT – because you’re really worried we’re gonna ruin this one for you. The good guys win. Oops, you probably hadn’t figured that one out yet, had you?]

And Now, a Taste of Things to Come...

UPDATE: a preview of Chapter 2: Spin, Rita, Spin has been released here.
Okay, sheeplings, we get it. By now I'm sure you're all seriously wondering what we're doing here. We're entertaining, sure, and we're witty and adorable (in a ruthless-killing-machine kinda way), but what the hell are we doing? Well, here ya go. First taste's always free. Enjoy...

It's not all selfies of our editor, we swear.

And don't worry. All your questions will be answered... In time.

1. THE GAMES CHILDREN PLAY

IN THE WAR ZONE

Juan Madrigal froze, staring across the fire. The machine drew a long, thin spike, dripping with gore, from Raul’s slumped corpse. Whatever this thing was, it didn't make a sound. Not as it appeared out of the darkness beyond the campfire. Not as it drove that spike-arm through the top of Raul’s skull, into the ground between his legs.

Paralyzed, Juan stared at the dark form. It took a step towards him. He must act now or die. But how had this happened? Why? Just moments ago this had been a normal night. He’d been laughing at old wives’ tales and cooking rubberized MRE “chicken” over the open flame in front of him. What the devil was this thing, this angel of death?

Want more? Buy this chapter on Amazon at oSWAT: The Games Children Play!

Public Transit as Post-Apocalyptic Inspiration

I don't own a car.  I traverse this southern city with the help of my feet, a collection of bicycles (not at the same time.  I'm talented, but not that talented), benevolent friends, and a somewhat stilted public transit system.  I could go on about the coming death of the personal automobile, but one Dr. Maurie Cohen's done a lot more research on that than I have, and I'm not here to take your guns or your cars (except, maybe if they're real pretty, and only for personal use.  I'll give 'em back.  Promise)...

But taking the train, especially in Atlanta, can be kind of a wet dream for a speculative fiction writer and editor, especially one with a bent toward the apocalyptic, especially on a rainy day.  Take, for example, this picture I snapped while sitting on the platform...

The calm before the first Molotov was thrown...

The day dawned warm, heavy, and gray... At least, I assume it dawned.  If there was a sun behind that TV-static sky*, I didn't see it...  As the hours crept by, the air turned colder.  The clouds gathered down closer to the skyline...  Around 5:00 PM, I left the office, compact purse umbrella in hand, ready for both doom and gloom.

The Evolution of Your Editor

The True Story of One Woman's Decent into Technology-Induced ADHD...  Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love My Smart Phone...

I have a confession to make...  I wasn't always Editor-in-Kill -- I mean, Chief -- of ESP (or anywhere else, for that matter).  Not too long ago, I was just a writer-for-hire.  I spent hours every day, scanning through sites like Craigslist, Elance, and Freelancer.com to find nuggets of work to pay the bills.  In winter, I huddled next to a space heater because turning the gas on in my uninsulated apartment would bleed me dry.  In summer, I stripped down to my underwear and kept a towel next to me to mop up the sweat before it poured all over my laptop.  Whenever I wasn't writing, I was running off to one food service job or another, pulling dogsitting and babysitting jobs whenever I could to make it to the next month without eviction...

In my head, my life was like...

Nice robe, lady.  What's in the cup?

In reality, it was a lot more like...

3.14159265359

Happy Pi Day, kids!

At ESP, we're celebrating March 14th with a slice of physics news (Higgs-boson, yeah!), coffee, sharp objects, and projectiles...  So yeah, it's a pretty typical day in the office.

The good folks over at ThinkGeek, though, might have us beat this time, with their pi ice cube tray, the only way to chill a pi-tini...

What do you think?  Caffeine, physics, and weapons... or irrational ice cubes and booze?  Maybe we should join forces.

Word Ninjas, Coffee, and Doom

Welcome to Electric Sheep Press, powered by the Electric Sheep Scribes.  Now, you may be asking yourself, having stumbled here out of the ether, what is this place?  Who are these people?  I could tell you, but I'd have to kill you...  Just kidding.  Sort of...

A tightly-knit trio with one goal in mind, the Electric Sheep Scribes want nothing more in this world than to kick the crap out of traditional publishing and leave it bleeding in the dirt and calling for its mama.

Think of Electric Sheep Press (ESP -- ain't we clever?) as a jacked-up, armored and gunned Humvee.  The Scribes roll up, load out, and lay waste.

On today's morning meeting agenda:
What happens when you give a Scribe Bulletproof Coffee?  Meet our new Editor-in-Kill.

Yeah, we're not your average publishing house.