Defcon Short Story Contest

We entererd the Defcon Short Story Contest. Our story is called In too Deep and can be found here. If you like it vote for us in the peoples choice poll!

Thanks!

TopFic: 3D Printers is out!

TopFic:3D printers is a short read about the fictional issue of using 3D printers to make weapons! It is available on Amazon now as a Kindle download.

TopFic: 3D Printers

#3 - Remedies for the Supernaturally Afflicted: Evicting the Blob and Dating a Succubus

We have a very special edition of “Remedies for the Supernaturally Afflicted” for you today! While we only have two questions for you, we feel that they’ll more than suffice. Both questions hail from our own favorite city of Atlanta, Georgia (whatcanwedoforya?), and both have, let’s just say, some... legal ambiguities...

1. I have a big problem. And i mean BIG. My house has been taken over by what i can only describe as a "The Blob." 

So, I just moved into my first house, everything was going great until i got all moved in and finally got a chance to use the shower. I saw something work its way out of the drain, then it popped the screen and a reddish, gooey tentacle came out and made straight for my foot. 

So I make it out of the shower and the thing* kind of went back in the drain.  I went underneath the house and he was all up in the crawl space, I barely made it out of there too.  i found out later that before i bought the place, nobody was in there for over a year. So, i'm thinking he's just like a squatter, except he's a The Blob, so then i call the cops. 

Well, the cops tell me they really can't do anything if he's not being violent at the moment -it's not like they can taser the dude and drag him out in cuffs - so he's got to be legally evicted. First, i'm thinking: why are they treating him like a regular squatter, right? So the next day i call my agent, which leads to the lawyer telling me to go downtown and get everything documented…and it turns out that in the time the house was empty, The Blob moved in and he paid the fucking property tax for 2012! there's a check for $1,900 signed "The Blob" in county fucking records!

So I'm begging you guys, please help me. there's no way this guy gets "squatters rights" and there's no way i'm giving up my house, but I'm not staying there for fear that he absorbs me at night or something.

Sincerely,

Sleepless in Atlanta

"Come at me, Bro!"

Another Taste...

A little while ago, we gave you a taste of things to come, the first chapter in ESP's flagship novel oSWAT... We threw a lot at you in just a few pages' worth of material... With scenarios like a baffling brush war in South America and a monstrous killing machine, powered by the mind of a child, you probably came away with more questions than answers.

But have no fear! You're gonna come away from the next chapter with even more questions! And whaddaya know? The second taste's free, too. We are some seriously benevolent pushers.

2. SPIN, RITA, SPIN

Ten years later...

“Are you ready for them, Ms. Arrington?” he asks me, a wry smile creeping up the right side of his face.

“Mr. Bennett-Dyson, after that speech, I feel like you’ve handed me the Keys to Press City,” I laugh. The CEO of The Shining Corporation is a tall man with thick gray hair, a winning smile, and a smooth tongue. At least, that’s how he’s always appeared to me in our SoReal meetings. I assume reality is pretty close to projection. You don’t get to be the head of the world’s largest, most profitable corporation hiding behind a mask  and blundering over words.

“I should hope so!” He pats me on the shoulder and joins his security detail. He could just fade out, as most people do when leaving a SoReal session, but Asher Bennett-Dyson prefers to make an exit. I think “fading out” in any sense of the phrase is probably against his religion.

More coming soon! Chapter 1 is already available on Amazon at oSWAT: The Games Children Play

#2 - Remedies for the Supernaturally Afflicted: The Superhero Edition

We’ve noticed a trend in the questions coming across our supernatural law expert’s desk in the past few weeks. We’ve seen a great decline in issues with zombies, virtually no vampires or werewolves. We did get one very interesting question about the Blob, but we’ve gotten so many questions concerning issues with superheroes that we’ve decided to dedicate an entire issue of Remedies for the Supernaturally Afflicted to these issues. Maybe it has something to do with the impending release of Iron Man 3. Maybe it’s all a coincidence. We may never know, but what we do know is demand. And we’re more than happy to supply...

1. A superhero in a gold and red suit (I can’t say for sure, but I think it was [NAME REDACTED]) got into a fight with a self-proclaimed super villain. The “hero” threw my car at the “villain.” While that stopped the fight, I am now stuck riding the bus to work…

On Foot in New York

It's this guy, isn't it? You may not have a case...

#1 - Remedies for the Supernaturally Afflicted

Editor’s Note: I think we’ve established that ESP is not your average publishing company. To show you just how different we are and how much we care, we’ve hired a group of expert attorneys to answer your supernatural legal questions. Are you worried about your daughter’s zombie boyfriend? Is your vampire secretary constantly late for work? Have you gone hunting and found out your prey was…not exactly what you thought you were shooting? Our advice column can help!

I have a question about my wife. She’s been a zombie for about 18 months now.  I have tried to remain a loving and devoted husband, but it’s becoming increasingly difficult. How do I put this delicately? A man has certain needs.  It has been 14 months since we shared the “intimate relations” that I had become accustomed to in our relationship. It isn’t that I want or need sex every day, but we haven’t done it in almost a year and a half!

To make matters worse, she doesn’t smell very good or change her clothes much, and she seems to have lost interest in being “hygienic.” And all she really wants to do is eat. But I still have needs (I still want to make love to my lady!). They aren’t being met, and I see no end to this. When I try to create an intimate atmosphere or flirt with her like we used to, she gets violent. She’s gone cold and barely talks to me beyond the occasional grunt or groan. I would like to save the marriage, but she won’t go to counseling (the one time I convinced her to go, she attacked the counselor). I don’t know what else to do. Can I file for divorce? I know I said ‘’Till death do us part’’ but we’re kind of there already right?

-Frustrated in Atlanta.

Meet the Scribes

Okay, so we’ve given you bits, and we’ve given you pieces. We’ve given you morsels, even.  You’ve read the first chapter of a pretty badass (if we do say so, ourselves) novel.  You’ve gotten a peek inside the mind of our editor on public transit and the apocalypse.  It’s about time, then, that we properly introduced ourselves.  We are the founders and keepers of ESP.  We are the Electric Sheep Scribes…

Sound off!

 

Tasky, Spelly, some jerk we drink with sometimes, and Cloudy. 

(Try keeping us in focus. We dare you.)